brandonrogersfandomcom-20200214-history
Grandpa HATES Halloween
Grandpa HATES Halloween is another video in the Grandpa series, published on October 31, 2015. Transcript Grandpa: You want me to tell you what? cut A bedtime story? cut Alright but it's gonna have to be a spooky one 'cause it's the Halloween time. reading a story with a flashlight ominously illuminating his face And the dead pharmacist told the boy "You got type 2 diabetes!" A- flashlight dies Grandpa: Fuck. smacks the flashlight, cut Clarita! Clarita: upstairs What?! Grandpa: The goddamned flashlight's broken again, where we keep the spare one? Clarita: I saw it in the oldest one's room. Grandpa: Alright. holding a new flashlight And the boy never had candy again! down at the flashlight, revealing it's actually a flesh-light. This one's not working either! the doorbell rings, and Grandpa answers it. Trick-or-treaters: Trick or treat! Grandpa: The fuck did you just call me? Grandpa is on the phone Grandpa: Yeah I'd like to speak to the pharmacist, please. Guy On Phone: Yeah I can I help you? Grandpa: up a half-empty bottle of bleach I drank some bleach all the way down to the blue and now I'm starting to feel like Harry Potters. Guy On Phone: No no no no, you're not supposed to drink bleach. Grandpa: Well, it tasted like candy to me. back at the door Grandpa: a Trick-or-treater What are you supposed to be, a disappointment? in the kitchen Grandpa: Timmy Oh we ain't going nowhere until you drink all yo milk. Timmy sneezes a mouthful of milk into Grandpa's face and his hair gets wet Grandpa: Oh, you want to see Jesus?! in the living room, Timmy is watching Grandpa lumber over to the door as the bell rings constantly Grandpa: Now I gotta go scare off those damn Trick-or-treaters... Trick-or-treaters: Trick or treat! Grandpa: the trick-or-treaters away with flash-light I told you motherfucking kids to leave me the fuck alone! Goddamned flashlight... Grandpa is driving Grandpa: Every Halloween I have the same goddamned nightmare: a goblin tries to eat out my asshole! in store, Grandpa is inspecting a Disney mirror with Timmy Grandpa: You seen this app? It shows what'cho gon' look like when you get old and fucked up. Grandpa is stuffing the pissed off mirror into the buggy Grandpa: Timmy Boy, pull up your god damn pants! The spookiest thing is in this store is that a dick that small is in my gene pool! Timmy shakes a bag of candy to get Grandpa's attention. Grandpa: Put that candy back, I am not buying you shit. throws bag of candy straight at Grandpa's face. Grandpa: Uhh! Fuck me right in the asshole. Grandpa is holding the mirror Grandpa: I don't want this anymore...stuffing the mirror into an assortment of jack-o-lantern buckets, causing them to fall over loudly. Grandpa inconspicuously slips away. Grandpa is inspecting a large wooden totem pole Grandpa: Oh this is longer than my dick! Grandpa is chasing Timmy through the clothes department Grandpa: Get back here you nli ttle asshole! Timmy: 'I'M NOT! ''hides in the clothes, cut, Grandpa is searching for him '''Grandpa: Dammit boy where are you hiding? Grandpa finds him with the flesh-light Grandpa: There you are! walking through the store with Timmy When we get home, I'm gonna give you a spooky ass grounding! OH! A GOBLIN! stupid-looking goblin appears in front of them Goblin: I'm going to eat out your asshole! Grandpa: WHAT THE- Rogers awakes in his bedroom, startled Brandon: -FUCK?!!!! looks around, confused, before going back to sleep as the credits roll Category:Episodes Category:Grandpa